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Just another aspiring author trying to make his way into the world of writing.

Thursday 19 July 2012

Season of The Hunt- Chapter 1


                                                             The Season Begins

      Night descended ominously upon the sleepy village, its cold embrace extinguishing all of the early summer warmth from the atmosphere. The street lamps began to flicker to life, warning off the night’s perpetual darkness; pale pools of yellow rained onto the pavement, drenching the cold surface with its warming light.
    The inhabitants of the village began to react to the night’s arrival: one by one, they shut their curtains and turned on their lights. The area was now completely silent and empty, submerged within the black veil. Not a whisper breathed through the air, not a movement disturbed the tranquil setting…

    Time flowed through its never ending cycle; with midnight eventually gracing the world once again. Slowly, a silhouetted figure slipped out from underneath the shadow of a house, as if signalled by midnight’s arrival. It appeared to cautiously survey the area, seeking for any signs of life. With caution, it seeped out from the protection of the shadow and made its advance through the village. The figure did not waver from its path, always walking in a straight line. It was clear that it knew where it was going.
    The body passed under a street lamp, its form revealed for just a short moment. Yet, nothing could be gleaned from the quick unveiling; for the body was draped in a black hooded cloak, concealing its identity. It swiftly moved away from the exposing light, and was once more absorbed into the inky blackness.

    A few moments later, and the figure had reached its destination: a small detached house on the far side of the village. It stopped at the front door, the wooden barrier the only obstacle preventing the body from entering the property. The figure looked up at the building, its face consumed by darkness. Only a faint flickering glow emitted from a second floor window of the house, unlike the other houses; whose harsh artificial lights radiated from behind their curtains. The body produced a hand from underneath its cloak and reached for the door. Unexpectedly, after a gentle push, the door gradually swayed inwards with a soft creak. The figure’s eyes flashed with malice from under its cowl as it glided inside the building, the door shutting behind him leaving the void night once more vacant.
    The house was dark and still. The body’s breathing began to quicken, the thumping of its heart beat filled its ears. The silence was deafening. The darkness overwhelming.
    The body looked up at the flight of stairs leading to the second floor; the soft glow of light gently illuminating the top of the staircase, tickling the darkness that devoured the house with its limitless greed. Then, Bang! The figure turned its head to the direction of the clamour. Someone was in the next room.
    Floating through the adjacent door, the body ventured into the shadowy outlines of what appeared to be a kitchen. It hurried across the room hastily, seeking for the source of the noise. Finding itself alone, the figure advanced through another door, this time leading into a deserted living room.  
    The living room was just as desolate as the kitchen; the only occupancy of the room being the shadows which hung in the dim atmosphere. The figure was about to make its departure when something caught its attention. It stopped in the middle of the area. A soft tiptoe sound could be heard from inside the kitchen.  It started to grow louder. The door of the living room creaked open slowly. It gradually gained upon the figures position. Then, they stopped. Something brushed passed the base of its cloak. Sweat streamed from under its hood as the figures pulse quickened in pace, coursing adrenaline through its veins.  It inhaled deeply. The figure spun round in one fast, liquid motion and pulled out something sharp from under its cloak. Nothing. The body looked around frantically in all directions anticipating an attack. But, nothing. It breathed a sigh of relief, mopping its concealed brow. The body gathered its composure and exited the room, not prepared to wait for what orchestrated the sound.

    Content that the base of the house was empty, the figure returned to the front of the building. It looked up at the stairs again, preparing itself for the accent. With gentle movements, the body reached the landing quickly; attempting not to make the wood creak with agony, signalling its intrusion. A weak light caressed the floor; intensifying the further it travelled to the end of the landing. The figure followed the light and stopped at the slightly ajar door in which the light was leaking from. It took in a deep breath and with a shaking hand, gasped hold of the doorknob.
“You may enter,” commanded a confident, female voice. The figure jumped back in surprise. It clearly was not expecting an invitation. “Do I have to ask you again?” The body did not require another request, and passed through the door into the light.
    The heat and light of candles bombarded the body as it entered the room. It took a while for its eyes to adjust from the darkness it had left behind.
“So, the season has arrived again?” questioned a woman, sitting cross legged in the middle of the room with her back to the door, surrounded by a circle of candles. Her long black hair flowed down her back like a river would flow down the face of a mountain. She wore what appeared to be red robes, with a white sash tied around her waist. Her eyes were closed, as if she was meditating.
“My! How quick the last year has flown!” she said to herself. “I knew that you would be coming for me tonight, hence why the door was left unlocked. No use destroying my house is there? After all, it cost enough!”
“You know I have to kill you, don’t you?” stuttered the newly revealed male.
“Well you didn’t come here to play a game of chess did you?” jested the woman in a sarcastic tone. The male moved away from the door, and carefully made his way around the circle to face his target.
“Let me guess… About twelve I would say?”
“I’m fourteen!” growled the boy.
“Ah! I apologise, guessing age was never my strong suit. Now if you would be so kind, I’d rather see the face of my supposed assassin.”
With her request the boy lifted the hood of his cloak. His face was pale and sickly, maybe from illness, but most likely from fear. His skin was dabbled in a few spots, reflecting his teenage youth. The most striking feature though was his eyes- black and soulless like miniature voids of darkness; it was as if all the life in his being had been drained.
The woman opened her eyes in response, and the two met and were enthralled by each other’s stare. Unlike the boy’s, the woman had dark brown eyes, burning almost as intensely as the candles which enclosed her.
“You don’t have to do this,” the woman argued.
“But I have to. Once I have killed you my initiation will be complete. Then I can go out into the world and hunt your kind to extinction! ”
“By killing me you will only be harming the planet-“
“By killing you I will be saving our planet!” interrupted the boy.
The woman shook her head slowly, and stood up. “I do not agree with harming children, but if I am to defend our world, then so be it! Arm yourself child. Let us see how good your training has been!”
The boy drew out two long knives from under his cloak, the metal shimmering in the candles blazing flare.
“It’s been good enough to kill a monster like you!” Before the boy even finished his sentence, he commenced in charging at the woman, the knives directed towards her chest. He moved swiftly, which came to the woman’s surprise; for he looked scarcely well enough to walk a few feet. But, before the boy could even reach the circle of candles, a dog shaped animal jumped in front of him, preventing admission to the woman.
“Ignis! What time do you call this?” scolded the woman.
“It is called the element of surprise! Do not fret; I have been tracking this pitiful excuse for a hunter ever since he entered the village.” The added voice appeared to come from the direction of the animal!
“Well you are here now, and I would be very grateful for some assistance.”
The animal bared it fangs and claws, “My pleasure.” With a vicious bark the animal leapt at the boy, knocking him onto his back. It stood on his chest, attempting to maul the boy’s throat. Again, the pale faced youth astonished his targets with his speed, and rapidly placed his knives in front of his throat in defence. The animal only managed to succeed in gnawing on the metal weapons. The two struggled on the floor, giving the boy the chance to identify the creature. Its slender shape, bushy tail and orange fur gave the indication that the doggish shaped animal was indeed a fox!
Eventually, the fox released its clamp upon the knives and jumped into the circle of candles, landing next to the woman.
“My turn I think.” The woman closed her eyes and extended one of her arms, her fingers outstretched. The candle in front of her appeared to respond to her action. The flame began to flicker. All of a sudden, the fire started to move! Like a serpent, it slithered off the candle wick and floated towards the woman. It reached her fingers and slipped onto her hand, spiralling up her arm, there it stopped and seemed to rest. She opened her eyes, and a sly smile stretched across her lips. The woman thrust her arm in the direction of the boy. The inferno flew off her body and smashed into the attacker. He catapulted across the room, and landed against the far wall.
“Is that all you got? To be honest, I expected more,” the woman mocked.
“Oh there is more!” The voice came from behind the woman!  She turned around; the boy was standing just outside circle of candles, uninjured!  An expression of fear contorted her face.
“I didn’t expect you to fool for a trick like that!” the boy smirked.
The woman looked back at where the boy had supposedly landed. To her dismay she had only managed to scorch the wall with her assault.   
“I think I underestimated you, to learn a skill at such a young age should be applauded! But be sure, I will not fall for it again!” The woman closed her eyes again and inhaled. She exhaled heavily, and as she did, the flames grew to the height of the ceiling. She drove her arms towards the ground.  All at once, flames were discharged in every direction around the room; the once tranquil house now rampant with the sound of fire ripping through the atmosphere, the air shimmering with the intensity of the heat.  The boy ran around the circle, warping his body to evade the streams of fire. This time he was not fast enough. A surge of heat rippled through his body, his whole being undulating with pain. A torrent of fire had crashed into his back causing him to plummet to the ground, where he lay convulsing with heated agony. This time she was certain it was boy she had struck. The woman strode over to the child, the flames now rotating around the two like a blazing cage.  She knelt down on one knee and whispered into his ear, “I’m sorry I had to do this.” The boy looked up into the woman’s burning eyes, and began to laugh.
“You don’t need to be sorry!” In one fluid motion the boy pushed himself up and threw one of his knives into the direction of the fox, which stood unprotected at the adjacent side of the room. The woman gasped, realising her puerile mistake. The knife slid through the fox’s flesh with incredible ease; with a force so strong that it knocked the animal back, pinning it to the wall. Its limbs wilted as it hung motionless on the wall like a taxidermy prize, blood oozing to the floor. The spiral of flames surrounding the woman and boy dissipated out of existence. The woman collapsed to her knees, clutching her throat, gasping for air. The boy knelt down and whispered into the woman’s ear, “Is that all you got? To be honest, I expected more!” The woman’s eyes widened. Her face drained of all colour. The boy stood back as the woman dropped to the floor with a deathly thud. A knife protruded out of her chest; blood beginning to spread across her red robes.

    The boy stood shaking over the corpse. He let out a terrible laugh which reverberated throughout the house. He had completed his task. He was now one of them…
     The boy knelt over the body and dragged out his knife, wiping the gore onto his cloak. He repeated the action with the fox, the animal’s body plummeting to the floor, landing in its self-produced pool of blood. He went to leave the room, but before he made his exit, the boy turned to admire his achievement:  amber liquid saturated to floor, the stench of blood clogging the air. The walls and roof were charred, and two corpses lay silently upon the ground. With a beaming grin, the boy replaced his hood, and left the yet again dark and still house. 

13 comments:

  1. Ah well I am a grammar freak so even though you only made two or three mistakes I would like to offer my editorial skills to your next peice of work, Tom. After all it is far too good to allow such minor niggles. I can see your inspiration with 'the woman' there and I like the way you have kept the characters all elusive.The way you describe the boy as a body for so long is quite apt to convey his lack of identity and belonging. It adds an eerily cold quality but surely it must have been difficult. I can see you have fought to keep the repetition on the low but perhaps other phrases such as the 'shadow' 'silhouette' or 'outsider' could help break it up. Overall though its a really engaging start to something I hope you continue. :)

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    1. Thanks for taking a look Alice!

      Yeah, I know you're a grammar freak! But do not worry, if there is a grammar mistake feel free to tell me!

      I might change some of the words suggested.

      Thanks for the comment! The next chapter will be up tomorrow!

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  2. Thank you everyone for all the views so far! Feel free to comment!

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  3. thats ok Tom and I'll look forward to it. I have a blog too now! Just need to find something to put on there. :/ And yes I am a grammar freak haha, my suggestion is "is that all you've got?" instead of "you" and something else I forgot. I'll have another look soon.

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    1. What is the website for your blog; so I can add you. Thanks, I made the changes suggested! Really helpful!

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  4. I am quite looking forward to the next chapter :) Great technique by the way: making the characters elusive so your readers continue reading as their curiousity has been arisen. It is my dream that one day I can be a writer. I only hope that the piece I am going to be working on will be as good as this.

    P.S
    I forgive the grammatical errors

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    1. Thank you very much for the feedback! I am very self-conscious about my work, and it is great to know that people like it!

      I'm sure your work will be just as good, or even better! I would like to read it when it is complete!

      The next chapter is online if you want to take a look!

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  5. I'm loving this. have read this a few times now and it's still interesting to me. That's a good sign. Keep up the great writing :D

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  6. Tom, this is a really gripping start!
    The concept is very intriguing - I'd agree with Alice that the structure has resulted in some over the top repetition of 'the figure' etc. that you could do with fiddling with- perhaps you could use this to your advantage by hinting at some of the apparent inner strength of this character during this mysterious description so that the contrast is heightened when he is described as a boy but the clues can be spotted when looking back?

    p.s. There are a few spelling errors such as inhabitants/ inhabitance fall/fool that it's worth doing a few read alouds to try and eliminate- might help to make sure the flow is exactly the way you want it too.

    p.p.s. Don't put too much of the one story up or there'll be nothing for people to pay for later :)

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    1. Thank you for your your advice, and I will certainly change the spelling!

      I like the idea of hinting the inner strength of the character, and may look to involving that; identity and exploration/evolution of character is a key theme to this novel so it would be good to add what you suggested!

      Thank you for the great comment and encouragement! If only I could get it published!!!

      Don't forget to check out Chapter 2! :)

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  7. I love your writing, now go write chapter 4. XD

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    1. Haha, thank you so much! Don't worry, chapter 4 will be on the site after I get back from my holiday: which is Monday!

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